How does relationship blooms between married couples?

Well, it seems to be an interesting topic for most of couples, and especially, when both the partners are working. And, when I am talking about relationship between a man and woman, it could be anything but now I am just talking about one thing and i.e. Marriage. Marriage, as is defined by Wikipedia.com, “is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged by a variety of ways, depending on the culture or demographic.” It is very important to build a relationship after marriage, and allow it to grow as time progresses. Well, the basis of most of relationships, post-marriage consists of three crucial things. These include: “Trust”, “Respect”, and “Love”. We all know this as we all have most of the books before tying the knot but we often tend to forget these basics after we marry someone. It is very important to keep reminding ourselves of these basics from time to time because this builds upon the relationship. It is also very important to have a constant interaction with each other. This helps in knowing each other the better, and thus helps build a strong relationship. Another important thing is to never take your partner for granted. There might be situations when we might think of our partners as a permanent fixture. In addition, watch out for the tone you use while communicating with your partner. You might be stressed out and tired from work or your boss might have spoken in a harsh manner or your team has really messed up with the work. So, it’s quite natural as a human being to take out your stress. But, your partner is not aware if your stress. Instead, it is always recommend to keep a calm mind and speak about your stress with your partner. Remember, your partner can be your best friend only if you make the best effort. Also, it is very important to have thoughtfulness among your partners. It is very important that you continue to make surprises by sending cards or buying flowers for your partner or doing things that your partner likes as you have been doing it while you dated or within few months of marriage. There can be small surprises but these can help you have a great relationship with your partner. It is also very important to understand the feelings of each other to have the relationship going. Also, critical is to be supportive towards your partner i.e. to support in any case even if your partner is wrong have committed a mistake. We all are human beings, and we are bound to make mistakes. As it said, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.”

Marriage is something that is never tangible. Any difference among the partners can weaken the relationship among each other, and may have serious aftermaths. So, in the end, I would like to remind you of the three crucial things once again that I spoke earlier:

TRUST your partner

RESPECT your partner's feelings

LOVE thy your partner (and this doesn't really mean to have a sexual relationship.)

Education system is improving..

Recently, Indian government approved the grading system for CBSE schools, which was really nice to know. It shows that finally the government has decided to improve the education system. This may be the first step towards the improvement, though but still it really provides us an opportunity to applaud the efforts of the government. Now, atleast, the students do not have too much of competition in their minds. The Government is trying to follow the US Education system by bringing in the grading system into place. This will generate a sense of involvement among the child as the children will now have to be upbeat throughout the year as they will be assessed accordingly. There is still a lot that needs to be done to improve upon the education system, which has been followed by an age-old philosophy. Times are changing and so should the education system also. It will require deep thinking and thorough planning. Someone needs to start somewhere. Like, there should also be a concept of "Tutor" or "Help Required" introduced if a child fails make adequate yearly progress. It is generally a trend that teachers may pay attention to a group of students who are consistently doing well in order to maintain the reputation of the school. This should not be the case as all the children have an equal amount of knowledge. Each of them is well-equipped with their own abilities. The concept of Tutor should be made mandatory by the Indian Government so that no student is left behind.

Still, I feel that its a good start for a new beginning into the education system in India. The road ahead is tough and has a lot of barriers. There are vast opportunities in this world, and the students should be made equipped to face the tough challenges.

Last night, I was listening to a wonderful Hindi song called "Woh Kaagaz ki kashti" sung by Jagjeet Singh. It really touched my heart as the words brought back my childhood memories, and got myself to shed tears as well and as the song progressed, the memories got even stronger. I felt how wonderful was the childhood, free from any worries and tensions. Today, while we are working 24X5 to earn a livelihood for ourselves and our family, we have forgotten the meaning the life. We have forgotten what life is all about. We are so much engrossed in work that we just don't find time to play around and have fun. By fun, we just tend to plan a vacation on a weekend but then we again come back on Monday for work and get tied up so much in work that we forget we have a family who wants our time and not money. Agreed, Money plays an important part in today's world and that too in times of recession as they said earlier that we don't earn to live rather we live to earn. So, don't make it a reverse i.e. don't earn to live...

Here are the lyrics from the wonderful song:

ye daulat bhii le lo, ye shoharat bhii le lo
bhale chhiin lo mujhase merii javaanii
magar mujhako lautaa do bachapan kaa saavan
vo kaagaz kii kashtii, vo baarish kaa paanii

muhalle kii sabase nishaanii puraanii
vo budhiyaa jise bachche kahate the naanii
vo naanii kii baaton mein pariyon kaa deraa
vo chahare kii jhuriryon mein sadiyon kaa pheraa
bhulaae nahiin bhuul sakataa hai koi
vo chhotii sii raaten vo lambii kahaanii

kadii dhuup mein apane ghar se nikalanaa
vo chidiyaa vo bulabul vo titalii pakadanaa
vo gudiyaa kii shaadii mein ladanaa jhagadanaa
vo jhuulon se giranaa vo gir ke sambhalanaa
vo piital ke chhallon ke pyaare se tohafe
vo tuutii hui chuudiyon kii nishaanii

kabhii ret ke unche tiilon pe jaanaa
gharaunde banaanaa banaake mitaanaa
vo maasuum chahat kii tasviir apanii
vo kvaabon khilaunon kii jaagiir apanii
na duniyaa kaa gam thaa na rishton ke bandhan
badii khuubasuurat thii vo zindagaanii

STOP! Is your team de-motivated?

Are your team members demotivated? Most of the manager’s job has been to motivate and inspire the team when they are de-motivated. But why do people get de-motivated in an organization?

I have read a lot of articles on management that deals with how to motivate employees but it is not how you motivate them; rather, it’s how you prevent them from getting demotivated. It has been proved in a research that an employee gets demotivated after their first six months only, and the motivation continues to decline thereafter. This research is based on the survey conducted with about 1.2 million employees at 52 primarily Fortune 1000 companies from 2001 through 2004. This decline in motivation or demotivation may be due to the poor management style adopted by the manager. In addition, it’s not only the manager who is solely responsible for demotivation of employees. There are other factors as well such as organization policies and management actions that contribute in demotivating the employees.

So it’s not about how you as a manager need to motivate the employees, but it’s rather how you stop demotivating them. It is very important for an employer to understand the following factors:

Are you engaging your employees in some of the organizational initiatives?,

Are you treating them fairly? and

Are they able to communicate comprehensively and openly?

If your answer is “No” to even one of the above questions, then your employees are demotivated, and this may lead to serious problems. So before we identify the tips on how to prevent demotivation among the employees; let us first identify the causes of demotivation, which include as follows:

• Most organizations dictate the employees on how to accomplish a particular task without telling them the need for doing that task. They feel that the employees are incompetent of making decisions. This may lead to demotivation among the employees.
• Sometimes, criticizing one employee before their team members may also encourage demotivation.
• Some managers set deadlines that seem to be impossible to be achieved thus demotivating the employees.
• When a manager asks a team member for his/her input but immediately dismisses it, which results in demotivation among the employees.
• Some managers give preferential treatment to a group of employees who are usually close to him/her. This sense of inequality among the team also leads to demotivation among the employees.
• It is generally said that, “Employees are an assets.” However if an organization tends to override the statement, and in order to reduce costs, reduces the costs on employees; then this may also result in demotivation among the employees. They may feel that the “Employees are labor costs, and not the assets.”
• Trust is most important factor, and if an organization feels that the employees are not trustworthy then this may also lead to demotiovation among the employees.
• Sometimes, when a manager uses phrases that are not complete such as Just do it or Failure is not an option, and so on, the team members have a negative feeling among themselves. They feel that manager themselves doesn’t know what needs to be done, and thus it results in demotivation.

So, as a manager what you should do to instill confidence among your team members and how should you help them avoid getting demotivated. Let us understand this using the following tips:

• Provide recognition to your team members
• Communicate well with your team
• Ensure proper coaching for employees
• Be a good listener
• Encourage teamwork
• Provide feedback in case of non-performance

Let us elaborate on each of these tips a little more.

Provide recognition to your team members

To help eradicate demotivation among the employees, it is very important for you as a manager to provide recognition among them. Ensure that all of the members of your team are recognized of their efforts no matter small of large. This gives them a sense of satisfaction and makes them realize that their efforts have been fruitful. It has been proved by the experts that receiving recognition for achievements is one of the most fundamental needs of a human being. It is always good to say thanks to the team members on accomplishing the job rather than criticizing them before the team. This helps in removing any distress levels among the team members. As a manager, you need to understand that any sort of appreciation whether through a word of mouth or in the form of an email will be a morale booster for the employee and help them to eradicate demotivation. Some manager may ask themselves, “Why shall I appreciate for the good work that the employees have done for which they have been paid to do.” But, you must understand one thing that there is no harm in recognizing the efforts of the employees.

Communicate well with your team

Communication is the most important skill for managers to eradicate demotivation. While communicating, you need to ensure that you distribute the information which is important for the employees to know. The employees feel frustrated upon lack of appropriate information.

Communicating well requires managers to be attuned to what employees want and need to know.

Ensure proper coaching for employees

Every employee or a team member needs coaching in order to improve their overall performance and do well in the organization. Even Sachin Tendulkar, who is considered as the best batsmen in the world, hasn’t been so if there was no coaching from Ramakant Achrekar. Most managers often tend to neglect proper coaching for the employees. However, a proper coaching makes employees feel that organization care for them and as a result allow them to do even better thus improving performance.

Be a good listener

Listening is an important quality that a manager must have. But, it is different from being “just a listener” and being a “good listener”. As a manager, you need to listen to not only the problems of the team members but also try to gather information on how they can do the job in a much better way. This makes the employees or team members feel involved, and prevent demotivation. While managers inviting ideas from the employees, the employees believe a sense of involvement in their work and they tend to love their work even more than before.

Encourage teamwork

In an organization, it is the team that matters the most rather than the individuals themselves. So, it is very important for a manager to team members to work in teams more often in order to accomplish a task rather than working in its own. This gives the employees gives themselves a boost in confidence. A manager needs to create an environment to promote teamwork by organizing self-managed teams and creating an opportunity to cross-train each other and using techniques such as brainstorming.

Provide feedback in case of non-performance

Feedback is an essential component that a manager can use in order to avoid demotivation among the team members. The employees who have an average level of performance need to be informed in order to improve. A manager must ensure to provide a feedback on a periodical basis. It must be remembered that there is a difference between a performance feedback and annual appraisal. The employees have the every right to know whether they are doing well or not. So, it’s up to the manager to provide feedback from time to time rather than waiting for the annual appraisal. The annual appraisal is meant for summarizing how the whole year has went by for the employee. It is the manager’s responsibility to create a healthy team environment.

So, to prevent the occurrence of demotivation among the employees, it is essential to keep them motivated. It is the employees who make the organization, and it has been proved that motivated employees are crucial for organization success. Employees just don’t work for money. In fact, they work for more than just money. The important thing to note here is to make provide an environment in which they feel that their job is secure and thus allow them to love their jobs.

Thus, as a manager, if you follow the above mentioned tips, you are surely able to support your employees' goals for achievement, impartiality, and camaraderie. This enables you to retain the enthusiasm among the employees when they joined the organization.

STOP! Is your team de-motivated? is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.
Based on a work at akapoor.blogspot.com.

Comma: Has it been underrated?

"The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.” -- Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart

Hello everyone, I am the Mr. Comma, which you use while writing any document such as magazines, journals, user manuals, and so on. I have been used differently by various authors, and not only this, different cultures use me in an entirely different fashion. That’s the irony of a poor little me that I have been used in various number of ways in so may people’s writings. Sometimes, I wonder that where did I originate from, and who was my godfather?

How did comma originate?

I am the most commonly used punctuation mark used by several writers around the globe, and I have a similar shape of my fellow-mate ‘apostrophe’ and ‘single closing quotation mark’. As per Oxford English dictionary, I came from a Greek word called komma (κόμμα), which means something that is cut off or a short clause. However, my origination can be dated back to 3^rd century BC when Aristophanes of Byzantium invented a system of single dots also called distinctiones that separated verses and indicated the amount of breath needed to complete each fragment of text when reading aloud. As I mentioned earlier and want to repeat it again that I can be used to solve various purposes while writing any form of document. I can be used in separating the list items or I can be used to separate the clauses. For example, generally, in English language people use me to separate a dependent clause with the independent clause if the dependent clause comes first. In addition to this, I may also be used while enclosing the parenthetical words and phrases within a sentence. Let us take an example to illustrate this. A simple example to this will be, Once upon a time, there existed a Shalom dynasty.

I may also be used while separating the different adjectives within a sentence or to separate parts of geographical references, such as city and state or city and country. Thus, I can be used in numerous ways and the sky is the limit. Yet, I am used differently in different cultures. Let us understand few such differences in the following section in the widely used English such as American as well British English.

Differences between American and British usage

Comma, though seems a simple punctuation mark, but is used differently in both the American as British English. For instance, comma is placed inside the quotes when using American English while it is placed outside the quotes in the British English.

Last but not the least

Finally, I am the most wisely-used character, and I can be found in all the bestsellers of well-known authors. But, still, I am not known to everyone.

References

• http://www.crosswaterfarm.com/commas/intro.html
• http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Use_of_Comma_in_English_Writing_Quick_Guide_and_Tips.html
• http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/commas.asp

Its time to create resolutions!

31^st Dec is here to stay today, and it is today that there will be talk of creating resolutions for the year 2009. Though, there are very few people who follow their own resolutions that they have created. I, myself, do not really believe in creating one that needs to be fulfilled for the entire year. It is believed that “New Year” is perhaps a good time to create a resolution. A resolution is basically a commitment that people usually make mostly to themselves (or to others as well sometimes) towards the coming year. A commitment can be related to a habit or a lifestyle change or it could be related to the family like you make a resolution to spend more time with your family. But, the question arises, do we really follow the resolutions that we create for our own benefit. Recent research of resolution conducted on several participants has shown that nearly 52% believed that they do not really need to create resolutions. Ands, that’s a quite high percentage. I also do not really believe creating any resolutions for the entire year; instead, I believe in creating the resolutions for each day. Take each day as if it was a new year. This will rejuvenate you and bring fresh energy within yourselves. Some people do have a habit of creating resolutions because it gives them a direction to lead the coming year. Some of the most common ones of the resolutions are losing weight, paying your debts, having a healthy diet plan, investing a good amount of money for the future, and spending enough amount of time with your loved ones. If you really want to make resolutions, then it is always advisable to make those which you can follow easily, i.e. always make “realistic” resolutions for the coming year, and don’t “expect” too much from yourself.

So, have you made a resolution for the year 2009?

And the countdown begins...

And the countdown for the year 2008 to end begins from now. If someone asks me to do a recap of 2008 as to how it has been, I would simple describe it in just one word, “Terrible”. And, many people would fairly believe with me that this year has been the worst of all. With so many things happened this year from bomb blasts that have taken place in most of cities in India to the latest terror strikes that happened in Mumbai on 26/11. Also, not to forget, the economic slowdown, which has brought the economy to where it all started. But, one should not lose hope because it’s a part of the game in life. After all, we do not have good times every time as we do have bad times as they were this year. 2008 has done one good thing, and i.e. it has brought all the people of India to stay united against the terror. All these lighting of candles at the India Gate and Gateway of India may seem rubbish but it has made us all realize the power of a “citizen”. Up till now, we citizens were just not bothered or if we were then we were just waiting for few people to act against the terror. And, that is what 2008 has done a good thing. It has made us stand united, holding hands and ask the politicians as to when will they just stop thinking about themselves and start thinking really about the country. It is nothing wrong though to think about yourselves but if people have voted you with a confidence then it becomes an utmost duty of a politician to prove them all that what you are worth it. Otherwise, if people lose faith upon the politicians, then it doesn’t take long to have them throw out of the power. It just shows the power that a citizen has…

So, as the sun of the New Year is beginning to rise, and as 2008 is beginning to hands the baton to the New Year, “2009”, let’s hope that New Year bring peace and prosperity in our lives and other people lives as we.. Let us all make a pledge that whatever may happen but we must stand united, and we will not bend down upon any faction of the society. In addition, let us all make a resolution that we must help out each other in times of any calamity, and let us all spread the word “happiness” in not only ours but other people’s lives as well.

WISH you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And the buzzwords are...

Like everyday, I got up early today at 5:45 AM. I opened the main gate of my house, and bent down to pick up the newspaper which the vendor had just thrown. As soon as, I turned to go back inside, I saw an old man stretching himself, getting ready to go for his daily chores. I wandered where he was up to in this early morning. Though, I had seen him quite often coming at the same time, passing by my house. But, to see anyone in this early morning and that too in a chilly winter was a suicidal attempt. But, then I realized that if someone has to earn his living then the person doesn’t need to see the weather. It has been so many times that I see many rickshaw pullers driving their customers while it was raining heavily. They were just not worried about themselves getting wet; instead their only worry at that time was to drop their customer to their respective location as quickly as possible, and that too maybe for a penny. That’s “Commitment” and “Dedication”. They are committed towards their customers, and dedicated towards their work. These words may sounds meaningless these days, and few people might even question me upon this. But, the real fact is that these words play an important part in our lives. Its not that we should only be committed and dedicated towards our work. Whatever we do, whether it is into learning a new thing such a musical instrument, spending time with our family members or spouse, or doing something for the national interest. All these things and much more require some sort of “commitment” and “dedication”.

Some people might even ask me that how it that how we stay is committed towards a task in hand or how can we stay committed while spending time with our family members. And, the answer is fairly simple, you just need to do few simple things which you know but you tend to forget.

So, stay committed and dedicated while new year rises....

Dasvidania

Last Sunday, I watched a Hindi movie called "Dasvidania" on my DVD. Its hero, Vinay Pathak, who also happened to be the Co-producer of the movie have done a wonderful job in the movie. It was well-written script, and left a message at the end. The movie started with Vinay making a "To-do list" of tasks he needs to do during the day, which we all do in our daily lives. So, this is so very similar to the reality, to which we all can co-relate. He makes a to-do list of all the tasks that he needs furing the day but forgets the tasks that he wanted to do in life, and one day comes when he is diagnosed with stomach cancer, and the doctor advises him that he wont stay beyond 3 months. He revisits his life, and tries to understands what had gone wrong in his entire course of life that had caused him this misery. He gets depressed, and turns to drinking in trying to realize the situation. It happens so many times that we create the To-do list of all the daily activities but in between all this, we tend forget the basic motto of life, and i.e. trying to be happy and enjoy the nature. We get engrossed so much in work that we even forget our own desires. There are so many things we desire to do like owning a farm house, going to beach or Seychelles, and so on. But, we get caught up so much in work that we cant find time to enjoy our life, and then a time comes when we have to go from this earth. It is then we realize but then it is too late. Like it happened with the hero of the film when the doctor gave him a notification of 3 months; it may not happen with everyone. Death comes all of a sudden, and we may not be able to do anything.

What will you do then?

Think about it?

Its time we realize that we all are guests on this earth, and we have to leave this earth one day, so until we are here, why not live every moment in joy and happiness, and share the same with our loved ones. Why not live each moment as if it was a last day on earth? Why not fulfill if not all, some of the desires that we want to?

Good Gesture from Captain Cool!

Such a good gesture that you can only expect from the "Captain Cool": Mahindra Singh Dhoni to give over the reigns for the last 3-4 overs to "Dada" eyeing that this will be his last test. This is definitely called a true sportsman spirit, and paying tribute to the man under whom he had played once. Mahi is really a person to cherish with not only good cricketing skills but also having a good character. That's the reason why he is so successful because he does have a heart. Its not just about giving the reigns to Sourav Ganguly for one last time but its about the thought which made him do so such a thing. This gesture may not benefit him much but surely put him in the hearts of millions of fans of cricket, and it will open a new chapter in the history of Indian Cricket.

Salute to Mahi for this overwhelming gesture! And, salute to Dada for his overall contribution to Indian Cricket, which has been fabulous. Dada has been a gem of Indian Cricket, and I had always been a fan of his batting no matter what form he was in. Though, it felt sad when he announced his retirement but all said and done, everyone has its own time in Cricket, and with so many youngsters pouring in, its time now that he should step down and give a chance to them to come in. Dada should now play a more important role, that of a mentor in order to groom the "new Dada" of Indian Cricket - maybe from WB itself.

Coffee Boy

I am used to going for coffee breaks during my office hours, and I go to the refreshment room more than often. Sometimes, I go all alone, and sometimes with my peers / colleagues. This time, I went to the refreshment room alone, and I noticed the coffee boy sitting over there. Though, he sits there everyday, as that is his duty of continuously sitting on same chair. However, that day I noticed him particularly because the room seemed to be empty compared to before. He looked at me, smiled, and said, “Hello, sir.”

I looked at him. He had a short height, and was wearing his uniform, which the Coffee Vendor might have given him as the dress had a label of Coffee Vendor. He also had a glow on his face which was different from other coffee boys.

I smiled at him, and replied with a warm hello. I asked his name, and he said his name was Ram Saran. Then, I asked, where was he from? To this, he replied, “I am from Bihar.”

Then, it all started the saga of conversation. We started our conversation with the victory of India over Australia. He said, “Cricket has become rather a boring these days due to its excessive coverage with due respects from IPL and ICL” At first, I was a little amazed with his state of awareness. But, after a moment, I also joined the discussion by replying to him, “Yes, the craze is now all gone with heat of IPL and ICLs. At this, he said, “BCCI should spend money in venturing in other sports as well such as Hockey, Athletics, and so on.”

He said, “Hockey is our national game, and its state is no less than a mere beggar on streets, and the players have to pay themselves to be in the hockey team.”

I was again amazed to see how aware he is on the current affairs. He went on to talk about how media uses the news item to earn money, and how did the media used Saurav’s retirement news and flashed it on the news channels for 2 respective days, asking the viewers to SMS their views on whether Saurav should retire at this state. He also said, “It’s the same media that were against Saurav Ganguly when he wasn’t amongst runs, and was demanding to announce his retirement.” I kept on listening to him patiently, and realized that how much aware is the common man today, and it’s not a question of interest because it has become a necessity for a common man to be aware about what’s happening around the world.

At last, he said something, which moved me really. He said, “Poor is becoming poorer, and rich is becoming richer.” And, this is an underlying fact, which the Government hasn’t realized or is blind-folded to this realization. With the current market getting downsized, it may not affect the Tata’s, Birla’s, and Ambani’s to a large extent but it will certainly affect the common man because they are not the richest people on earth. Instead, what they need is twice a meal in a day. That’s, what they are looking for. Of course, they want to live life king-size, but their first priority to feed their family. I wonder sometimes that the difference between the rich and poor will finish, and poverty will be really eradicated as our dear politicians promise every time there is an election.

Reality Shows: What's the big deal!

First, it was the Saas-bahu saga with Ekta Kapoor been considered as the Soap Queen as her two shows rocked the whole nation, and now the "reality show" boom is rocking the whole nation in the television industry. Every other day a channel is born, and what you see first is a reality show whether it is for dance, music, or any other activity. You name it, and you have a reality show for that particular thing. So, now, people who have talent don't have to go knocking the doors of the concerned persons, and neither they have to deliberately leave their homes to the city of dreams called "Mumbai" for getting a break. They can do it easily by participating in such reality shows, though they still have to work very hard, of course. Without hard work, nothing is possible on this earth. You cant get everything served on your plate. But, media has really shown the doors to the people who deserve their every right to be in the limelight. But, easier said than done, are these reality shows really giving an opportunity to the people who deserve or this is just a gimmick and the real story of reality shows is entirely different. I wonder, some day Madhur Bandharkar will make a film on "Reality Shows" even as to what happens in the backdrop of reality shows and whats the real story all about, like he did in so many other movies such as Corporate, Page-3, and his latest to be released, "Fashion".

Whatever may be the case, if people are benefiting with these "Reality Shows", then I surely put my vote on it, even if an SMS worth 3 Rs and it earns a billion dollar for the organizers. So what, if the organizers and sponsors are earning a hell amount of money. They have every right to earn money as the saying goes, "Its All about Money, Honey".

But everything has a limit, and too many reality shows may spoil the entertainment saga. People tend to get bore easily, and they may not be interested in it any more. So, the channels and media will have to think of something else to replace the boom of reality show. But, till then, keep on enjoying the reality show bandwagon and watch the fights happening in the shows to have fun.

Delhi ROCKS!

Last weekend, we witnessed yet another blasts hitting another metropolitan city, our very own "DELHI". All these blasts took place in the most happening places of Delhi viz-a-viz, Connaught Place, Greater Kailash-I, and Karol Bagh. Whovever did this horrifying act, had done his home-work well as the day being a "weekend" is filled with a lot of people coming over there for shopping and having fun. But, how do they know that the fun would be all lost in the sky. Those of whom, who stayed back home were lucky enough and those who went there were the unlucky ones. I have always heard from saints and my mom saying that life is in hands of the Almighty, "GOD" but I wander sometimes that is really life in God's hands or these people who perform such barbaric acts. I was listening in one of the news channels that one of the couples had come to Delhi for the first time, and had vowed to never come in their life again because what they suffered was really horrifying. Theor trip was made their last one due to this barbaric act. But, life moves on. Whatever, blasts may occur in Delhi, life still moves on at its own pace. The people who have performed such an act cant really disturb the mood of Delhi. Delhi still rocks and will continue to rock no matter how many bomb blasts may happen. The politicians have condemend it, media have criticized it, and a lot of people have suffered. But, with time, all will foget, and then people will come out again on streets to have fun and go for shopping. No terrorist can really put fear in our hearts and minds as long as we have faith in our GOD. Delhi is city where a millions of people from different culture and diversity have come to earn their livelihood, and have made it their home.

No one can burn the spirit of Delhities, and neither can such barbaric acts bring down our enery levels. We delhities will still say, "चलता है यार...ऐसे छोटे मोटे अच्सिदेंट्स तो होते ही रहते हैं तो इससे कोई जीना तो नहीं छोड़ देता॥"

Shame on you!

Its such a shame that though we live in India, and say that India is a secular and a democratic country, but still we are divided based upon different castes. And, now there is different kind of divide bing created, and i.e. regional divide. For instance, a person born in Delhi goes to Maharashtra or Mumbai (which is considered as a land of dreams for millions of people) to earn his/her living. But, what he/she gets in turn is a regional divide, and is asked or rather forced to adopt the language of that particular region. India has a one of the largest democratic country in the whole world, and what name we are giving in front of the world. How safe is the common man when the well-known personalities like Jaya Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan are being attacked for being claiming themselves to be a part of the regions from where they have come. Can anyone forget a region from where they have come or have been born? For that matter, are we trying to prove everyone that India is not a democratic country but rather it is a non-secular country. There is a need for a consensus, and the media needs to react to the situation urgently before it gets too late. I just read an article in Yahoo.com, which mentions that "In southern states, the anti-Hindi campaign has been on for the last sixty years. There is a ban on Hindi films and Hindi news in Tamil Nadu (Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/20/20080909/1430/ten-sena-targets-king-khan.html)

I was shocked to see this news, and it is a known fact that most of the tamil movies are bing dubbed in hindi and vice-versa and the hindi ones are more popular. Not only this, even the tamil actors and actresses such as Kamal Hassan, Rajnikanth, Jaya Prada, and so on have been more successful in the Bollywood than they were in Tamil cinema. Then, why such a regional divide? More shocking in the article was that in Assam, people are killed who speak in hindi. Its high time we do something for this situation. This is a serious issue, and the media needs to take thew responsibility on their shoulders instead of giving us news if how a man reached the moon or how a cheetah killed a mouse or even when did Amitabh Bachchan went to temple.

We live in India no matter which region we belong to, and if we are a democratic country then make us feel that we area secular and democratic country.

Such is his caliber...

He is a genius. Such is his caliber that whichever movie or even for that matter, an advertisement he does, becomes a "hit". Some people don't have do silly things and they still create history. While, some people continue to struggle throughout their life, and they keep on searching for that little break. He has such power within himself that he can turn the fans to follow him. He is the "Aamir Khan". Whether it is Aakash from 'Dil Chahta Hai' or Bhuvan from 'Lagaan' or a Art teacher, Ram Shankar Nikumbh from his latest TZP. All of them have created history, and he has been able to voo the audience.

Yesterday, I was watching his advertisement for "Tata Sky" as he is their brand ambassador. I must say that he is simply the genius. Someone was telling me the other day that he charges around 14 crores for an advertisement. I said, "WOW". But, then I realized that with the power he has, this money that he charges is nothing. I havent seen him in doing any kind of shows like "Paachvi Paas se Tez Hai" or "Dus ka Dum" but still people like him; and they admire him.

I must say that if anyone is a Badshah of Indian Cinema, It has to be "Aamir Khan".

Divide & Rule

So, here I am again with a yet another blog entry. Last month, there had been a quite a few so this month I will make a point to post as regular as possible.

Starting this month, we have some bad news and some good. Lets have some good news, and the good one is, that the Amarnath shrine board has agreed upon to compromise. Sometimes, I wonder when they had to compromise then it could have done some two months earlier, and it would have saved so much of bloodshed that have occurred since these months. Though, the Kashmir valley is not happy with this but its just the minor chuckles, and I believe congress have some shrewd politicians, and they will make them agree.

Now, for the bad news, the riots in Orissa seem to be in no control, and just for the wrong reason. And, now there are riots between Hindus and Christians. Sometimes, I wonder why our dear politicians feel so proud in having a religious divide among the people of India. It seems like they are following the "Divide & Rule" policy that the British used to do while they were here in India. The British though have gone but they have taught quite a few lessons to these politicians and this one is among them, Divide and Rule. You divide the people based upon the religions and rule upon them. But, today's man seem to be more aware of things, and have understood this underlying fact. They don't have any problem with any religion as far as they are getting the opportunities. This world has become a land of opportunities, though it had always been but people have realized this fact recently, and are trying to cope with it. So, be it a Hindi, a Muslim, a Christian, or a Sikh, all are mere individuals who come in this world as an individual to perform their duties, and then go back after they task is over, I mean to say after their retirement age comes ahead of them. Everything is planned for us, individuals. God has made a plan for each one of us, and have sent us according to that plan. There is no miss in any schedule, and all the deadlines are met accordingly.

So, how much we are divided and ruled upon, there is one Almighty who is ruling upon us, and who has sent us for a purpose and will call us when that purpose is finished.

Have we lost our identity?

We get up in the morning, go to office, develop code for the software to be used by the millions of users, write content to be read by those million users. And, in this we take regular breaks, I mean meal or coffee breaks, and indulge in the office gossip. But, sometimes I feel that with all this are we losing our identity. India has seen so many eminent personaltities, and stalwarts with the likes of Ramanujan, Prof CV Raman, Chandrashekhar, Prof CS Seshadri, and so on. We have the great nobel laureate, CV Ramam producing the most innovative research hich we call it as "Raman Effect" and we have Ramanujan the stalwart in mathematics. Above all this, we also have the Aryabhatta, producing the well found research in area of mathematics whether it is giving volumes of sphere and pyramid or giving an approximation of pi. But the fact is that these people had existed, and still exists in our mind somewhere. However, these genuises seem to have been lost, as we have got ourselves involved in running after money so much. The growth of Information Technology has seen so many advancements with India entering the "IT superpower market". However, this advancement also has seen change in man's lives. He has become materialistic, and the run-in for money has got him into the race to earn more and more, and it will never end until we ourselves realize the potential of those geniouses. Its true that it is no harm to be materialistic but we need to ask ourselves that are we becoming too materialistic. Where the likes of Ramanujans and CV Ramans? Have we hidden them over the run-ins for money? Its a fact that it has been so many years since we produced a genious in mathematics and science. It seems that the field of science and mathematics has just stopped, and its time we rejuvenate ourselves to revive the field of science and mathematics. ITs high time we realize the potential of research in these fields and continue the works of Ramanujan, Aryabhatta, and CV Raman to bring a new name in Indian history.

“What is in the name!”

Shakespeare said in one of his plays, “What’s in the name?” I wonder sometimes where this rule is applied as it is the “name” that matters the most. If you don’t have a name, then people do not recognize you. Imagine yourself not having a name such as Ram, Albert, or Iqbal then how will people call you.

Will they call you like, “Hey, you!” or “Hey! Come here you.”

Sounds silly isn’t it. How will it look like when everyone will be calling each other like this? Then, there will be no names and people will be calling by the pronouns. Sometimes, I feel that did Shakespeare think while making the statement, “What’s in the name?” And, the hilarious part is that after making that statement, everyone knew that it was made by Shakespeare himself. Imagine how will it feel when you do something good, and don’t leave a name in it. How will it feel to not be recognized after doing something good? After all, people do everything to make a mark of them. But, after giving a due thought on this statement, I realized it has a different meaning. What Shakespeare is trying to say here is that there are so many religions on this earth, and there are so many people of different diversities. All of them are no different. All of them are the same, just the difference lies in the color and caste. “What’s in the name” actually means that it’s not your name that is important but more important is, “You”, yourselves. Everyone wants to be recognized and it’s not bad. It is always good to have aspirations and goals because without that life becomes monotonous. However, more importantly, its important to identify to identify yourselves. Look within yourselves, and ask yourselves what is good and what is bad.

That’s the real meaning of this statement. Shakespeare though had been a thorough thinker, and it is him who could have given such a thoughtful statement.

Why do people say "I am falling in LOVE"?

I have heard people saying in reality and in movies (both Hollywood and our very own Hindi movies) that, "I am falling in love". The term "Falling in Love" is generally derived from western countries, and it usually means the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards someone to one of love. The term "Fall" can imply to many things such as putting the lover in a state of vulnerability or that the process is irreversible. It also means that process of love may have been uncontrollable. However, its never bad to fall in love as pointed out by Albert Einstein. It has been theoretically proved by many psychologists that people generally fall in love when they want a change in their life or even start a new life altogether.

I want to quote few lines from a Wikipedia, which says "falling in love is a rapid process of destructuration-reorganization called the nascent state. In the nascent state, the individual becomes capable of merging with another person and creating a new collectivity with a very high degree of solidarity."

I remember a wonderful song sung by Elvis Presley, "I can’t help falling in love with you". Just read through the lyrics of the wonderful song and feel the difference it makes in your lives:

Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin?
If I can’t help falling in love with you
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can't help
Falling in love with you
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can?t help
Falling in love with you
For I can?t help
Falling in love with you

But, why people really fall in love is a mystery, and still is a mystery why some love grows and why some love fails. Love is like a sum of the interests and attractions and certain common traits that two people share. And just as life is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an abysmal gift that cannot be questioned.

To some people, this gift of love comes at a very early age so you must take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. However, if it fails altogether, just don't stick to it. Just move on as you move on with life. Because, just life is a mystery, love is also a mystery that no human being has been able to solve on its own. It’s just the God's will that you cannot even pretend to change. When love fails, you look for answers and think about "What's really wrong in yourselves that made the other person not love you?" You tend to blame the circumstances that caused this situation and say that if they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow. Imagine that you fall in love with another person, and the other person also falls in love with you. Then, suddenly everything starts looking negative to you and other person decides to leave. So, in this situation, do not try to recoup it or to assess blame. Just, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning to everything in life. You will know in times to come as its not you who have written your future.

Remember that its not you who chooses Love but it’s the vice-versa. You can only accept it when it comes to your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit, and give it to the world around you in any way you can. Also, remember that Love has its own time, season, and reason to come and go. You cant neither stop from coming into your life and nor stop from going from your life just as you cant stop people from dying. You can only embrace it when it comes to you but when it chooses to leave you then there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do either. However, you should feel luck and out of the blue moon that God has chosen you to be "fallen in love" out of the millions of people standing in the line still waiting to find a love of their life. In the end, I want to quote the following lines, "If you keep your heart open then it will definitely come again in your life." I want to quote few lines of a beautiful poem Falling in Love is Wonderful from Harry Kottler,

Falling in love is wonderful.
Falling in love is sublime.
Falling in love is wonderful.
I fall in love all the time.

Falling in love is wonderful.
I fall in love with all I meet.
Falling in love is wonderful.
I greet my beloved on every street.

Falling in love is wonderful.
It's not grave; it is floating on air.
Falling in love is wonderful.
I fall in love with both the ugly and the fair.

"We are the World"
(One of the best songs of all times...I really love the lyrics. Its close to the heart, and is suited to current scenario.)

There comes a time
When we head a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on Pretending day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me