How does relationship blooms between married couples?

Well, it seems to be an interesting topic for most of couples, and especially, when both the partners are working. And, when I am talking about relationship between a man and woman, it could be anything but now I am just talking about one thing and i.e. Marriage. Marriage, as is defined by Wikipedia.com, “is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged by a variety of ways, depending on the culture or demographic.” It is very important to build a relationship after marriage, and allow it to grow as time progresses. Well, the basis of most of relationships, post-marriage consists of three crucial things. These include: “Trust”, “Respect”, and “Love”. We all know this as we all have most of the books before tying the knot but we often tend to forget these basics after we marry someone. It is very important to keep reminding ourselves of these basics from time to time because this builds upon the relationship. It is also very important to have a constant interaction with each other. This helps in knowing each other the better, and thus helps build a strong relationship. Another important thing is to never take your partner for granted. There might be situations when we might think of our partners as a permanent fixture. In addition, watch out for the tone you use while communicating with your partner. You might be stressed out and tired from work or your boss might have spoken in a harsh manner or your team has really messed up with the work. So, it’s quite natural as a human being to take out your stress. But, your partner is not aware if your stress. Instead, it is always recommend to keep a calm mind and speak about your stress with your partner. Remember, your partner can be your best friend only if you make the best effort. Also, it is very important to have thoughtfulness among your partners. It is very important that you continue to make surprises by sending cards or buying flowers for your partner or doing things that your partner likes as you have been doing it while you dated or within few months of marriage. There can be small surprises but these can help you have a great relationship with your partner. It is also very important to understand the feelings of each other to have the relationship going. Also, critical is to be supportive towards your partner i.e. to support in any case even if your partner is wrong have committed a mistake. We all are human beings, and we are bound to make mistakes. As it said, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.”

Marriage is something that is never tangible. Any difference among the partners can weaken the relationship among each other, and may have serious aftermaths. So, in the end, I would like to remind you of the three crucial things once again that I spoke earlier:

TRUST your partner

RESPECT your partner's feelings

LOVE thy your partner (and this doesn't really mean to have a sexual relationship.)

Education system is improving..

Recently, Indian government approved the grading system for CBSE schools, which was really nice to know. It shows that finally the government has decided to improve the education system. This may be the first step towards the improvement, though but still it really provides us an opportunity to applaud the efforts of the government. Now, atleast, the students do not have too much of competition in their minds. The Government is trying to follow the US Education system by bringing in the grading system into place. This will generate a sense of involvement among the child as the children will now have to be upbeat throughout the year as they will be assessed accordingly. There is still a lot that needs to be done to improve upon the education system, which has been followed by an age-old philosophy. Times are changing and so should the education system also. It will require deep thinking and thorough planning. Someone needs to start somewhere. Like, there should also be a concept of "Tutor" or "Help Required" introduced if a child fails make adequate yearly progress. It is generally a trend that teachers may pay attention to a group of students who are consistently doing well in order to maintain the reputation of the school. This should not be the case as all the children have an equal amount of knowledge. Each of them is well-equipped with their own abilities. The concept of Tutor should be made mandatory by the Indian Government so that no student is left behind.

Still, I feel that its a good start for a new beginning into the education system in India. The road ahead is tough and has a lot of barriers. There are vast opportunities in this world, and the students should be made equipped to face the tough challenges.

Last night, I was listening to a wonderful Hindi song called "Woh Kaagaz ki kashti" sung by Jagjeet Singh. It really touched my heart as the words brought back my childhood memories, and got myself to shed tears as well and as the song progressed, the memories got even stronger. I felt how wonderful was the childhood, free from any worries and tensions. Today, while we are working 24X5 to earn a livelihood for ourselves and our family, we have forgotten the meaning the life. We have forgotten what life is all about. We are so much engrossed in work that we just don't find time to play around and have fun. By fun, we just tend to plan a vacation on a weekend but then we again come back on Monday for work and get tied up so much in work that we forget we have a family who wants our time and not money. Agreed, Money plays an important part in today's world and that too in times of recession as they said earlier that we don't earn to live rather we live to earn. So, don't make it a reverse i.e. don't earn to live...

Here are the lyrics from the wonderful song:

ye daulat bhii le lo, ye shoharat bhii le lo
bhale chhiin lo mujhase merii javaanii
magar mujhako lautaa do bachapan kaa saavan
vo kaagaz kii kashtii, vo baarish kaa paanii

muhalle kii sabase nishaanii puraanii
vo budhiyaa jise bachche kahate the naanii
vo naanii kii baaton mein pariyon kaa deraa
vo chahare kii jhuriryon mein sadiyon kaa pheraa
bhulaae nahiin bhuul sakataa hai koi
vo chhotii sii raaten vo lambii kahaanii

kadii dhuup mein apane ghar se nikalanaa
vo chidiyaa vo bulabul vo titalii pakadanaa
vo gudiyaa kii shaadii mein ladanaa jhagadanaa
vo jhuulon se giranaa vo gir ke sambhalanaa
vo piital ke chhallon ke pyaare se tohafe
vo tuutii hui chuudiyon kii nishaanii

kabhii ret ke unche tiilon pe jaanaa
gharaunde banaanaa banaake mitaanaa
vo maasuum chahat kii tasviir apanii
vo kvaabon khilaunon kii jaagiir apanii
na duniyaa kaa gam thaa na rishton ke bandhan
badii khuubasuurat thii vo zindagaanii

STOP! Is your team de-motivated?

Are your team members demotivated? Most of the manager’s job has been to motivate and inspire the team when they are de-motivated. But why do people get de-motivated in an organization?

I have read a lot of articles on management that deals with how to motivate employees but it is not how you motivate them; rather, it’s how you prevent them from getting demotivated. It has been proved in a research that an employee gets demotivated after their first six months only, and the motivation continues to decline thereafter. This research is based on the survey conducted with about 1.2 million employees at 52 primarily Fortune 1000 companies from 2001 through 2004. This decline in motivation or demotivation may be due to the poor management style adopted by the manager. In addition, it’s not only the manager who is solely responsible for demotivation of employees. There are other factors as well such as organization policies and management actions that contribute in demotivating the employees.

So it’s not about how you as a manager need to motivate the employees, but it’s rather how you stop demotivating them. It is very important for an employer to understand the following factors:

Are you engaging your employees in some of the organizational initiatives?,

Are you treating them fairly? and

Are they able to communicate comprehensively and openly?

If your answer is “No” to even one of the above questions, then your employees are demotivated, and this may lead to serious problems. So before we identify the tips on how to prevent demotivation among the employees; let us first identify the causes of demotivation, which include as follows:

• Most organizations dictate the employees on how to accomplish a particular task without telling them the need for doing that task. They feel that the employees are incompetent of making decisions. This may lead to demotivation among the employees.
• Sometimes, criticizing one employee before their team members may also encourage demotivation.
• Some managers set deadlines that seem to be impossible to be achieved thus demotivating the employees.
• When a manager asks a team member for his/her input but immediately dismisses it, which results in demotivation among the employees.
• Some managers give preferential treatment to a group of employees who are usually close to him/her. This sense of inequality among the team also leads to demotivation among the employees.
• It is generally said that, “Employees are an assets.” However if an organization tends to override the statement, and in order to reduce costs, reduces the costs on employees; then this may also result in demotivation among the employees. They may feel that the “Employees are labor costs, and not the assets.”
• Trust is most important factor, and if an organization feels that the employees are not trustworthy then this may also lead to demotiovation among the employees.
• Sometimes, when a manager uses phrases that are not complete such as Just do it or Failure is not an option, and so on, the team members have a negative feeling among themselves. They feel that manager themselves doesn’t know what needs to be done, and thus it results in demotivation.

So, as a manager what you should do to instill confidence among your team members and how should you help them avoid getting demotivated. Let us understand this using the following tips:

• Provide recognition to your team members
• Communicate well with your team
• Ensure proper coaching for employees
• Be a good listener
• Encourage teamwork
• Provide feedback in case of non-performance

Let us elaborate on each of these tips a little more.

Provide recognition to your team members

To help eradicate demotivation among the employees, it is very important for you as a manager to provide recognition among them. Ensure that all of the members of your team are recognized of their efforts no matter small of large. This gives them a sense of satisfaction and makes them realize that their efforts have been fruitful. It has been proved by the experts that receiving recognition for achievements is one of the most fundamental needs of a human being. It is always good to say thanks to the team members on accomplishing the job rather than criticizing them before the team. This helps in removing any distress levels among the team members. As a manager, you need to understand that any sort of appreciation whether through a word of mouth or in the form of an email will be a morale booster for the employee and help them to eradicate demotivation. Some manager may ask themselves, “Why shall I appreciate for the good work that the employees have done for which they have been paid to do.” But, you must understand one thing that there is no harm in recognizing the efforts of the employees.

Communicate well with your team

Communication is the most important skill for managers to eradicate demotivation. While communicating, you need to ensure that you distribute the information which is important for the employees to know. The employees feel frustrated upon lack of appropriate information.

Communicating well requires managers to be attuned to what employees want and need to know.

Ensure proper coaching for employees

Every employee or a team member needs coaching in order to improve their overall performance and do well in the organization. Even Sachin Tendulkar, who is considered as the best batsmen in the world, hasn’t been so if there was no coaching from Ramakant Achrekar. Most managers often tend to neglect proper coaching for the employees. However, a proper coaching makes employees feel that organization care for them and as a result allow them to do even better thus improving performance.

Be a good listener

Listening is an important quality that a manager must have. But, it is different from being “just a listener” and being a “good listener”. As a manager, you need to listen to not only the problems of the team members but also try to gather information on how they can do the job in a much better way. This makes the employees or team members feel involved, and prevent demotivation. While managers inviting ideas from the employees, the employees believe a sense of involvement in their work and they tend to love their work even more than before.

Encourage teamwork

In an organization, it is the team that matters the most rather than the individuals themselves. So, it is very important for a manager to team members to work in teams more often in order to accomplish a task rather than working in its own. This gives the employees gives themselves a boost in confidence. A manager needs to create an environment to promote teamwork by organizing self-managed teams and creating an opportunity to cross-train each other and using techniques such as brainstorming.

Provide feedback in case of non-performance

Feedback is an essential component that a manager can use in order to avoid demotivation among the team members. The employees who have an average level of performance need to be informed in order to improve. A manager must ensure to provide a feedback on a periodical basis. It must be remembered that there is a difference between a performance feedback and annual appraisal. The employees have the every right to know whether they are doing well or not. So, it’s up to the manager to provide feedback from time to time rather than waiting for the annual appraisal. The annual appraisal is meant for summarizing how the whole year has went by for the employee. It is the manager’s responsibility to create a healthy team environment.

So, to prevent the occurrence of demotivation among the employees, it is essential to keep them motivated. It is the employees who make the organization, and it has been proved that motivated employees are crucial for organization success. Employees just don’t work for money. In fact, they work for more than just money. The important thing to note here is to make provide an environment in which they feel that their job is secure and thus allow them to love their jobs.

Thus, as a manager, if you follow the above mentioned tips, you are surely able to support your employees' goals for achievement, impartiality, and camaraderie. This enables you to retain the enthusiasm among the employees when they joined the organization.

STOP! Is your team de-motivated? is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.
Based on a work at akapoor.blogspot.com.

Comma: Has it been underrated?

"The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.” -- Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart

Hello everyone, I am the Mr. Comma, which you use while writing any document such as magazines, journals, user manuals, and so on. I have been used differently by various authors, and not only this, different cultures use me in an entirely different fashion. That’s the irony of a poor little me that I have been used in various number of ways in so may people’s writings. Sometimes, I wonder that where did I originate from, and who was my godfather?

How did comma originate?

I am the most commonly used punctuation mark used by several writers around the globe, and I have a similar shape of my fellow-mate ‘apostrophe’ and ‘single closing quotation mark’. As per Oxford English dictionary, I came from a Greek word called komma (κόμμα), which means something that is cut off or a short clause. However, my origination can be dated back to 3^rd century BC when Aristophanes of Byzantium invented a system of single dots also called distinctiones that separated verses and indicated the amount of breath needed to complete each fragment of text when reading aloud. As I mentioned earlier and want to repeat it again that I can be used to solve various purposes while writing any form of document. I can be used in separating the list items or I can be used to separate the clauses. For example, generally, in English language people use me to separate a dependent clause with the independent clause if the dependent clause comes first. In addition to this, I may also be used while enclosing the parenthetical words and phrases within a sentence. Let us take an example to illustrate this. A simple example to this will be, Once upon a time, there existed a Shalom dynasty.

I may also be used while separating the different adjectives within a sentence or to separate parts of geographical references, such as city and state or city and country. Thus, I can be used in numerous ways and the sky is the limit. Yet, I am used differently in different cultures. Let us understand few such differences in the following section in the widely used English such as American as well British English.

Differences between American and British usage

Comma, though seems a simple punctuation mark, but is used differently in both the American as British English. For instance, comma is placed inside the quotes when using American English while it is placed outside the quotes in the British English.

Last but not the least

Finally, I am the most wisely-used character, and I can be found in all the bestsellers of well-known authors. But, still, I am not known to everyone.

References

• http://www.crosswaterfarm.com/commas/intro.html
• http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Use_of_Comma_in_English_Writing_Quick_Guide_and_Tips.html
• http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/commas.asp

Its time to create resolutions!

31^st Dec is here to stay today, and it is today that there will be talk of creating resolutions for the year 2009. Though, there are very few people who follow their own resolutions that they have created. I, myself, do not really believe in creating one that needs to be fulfilled for the entire year. It is believed that “New Year” is perhaps a good time to create a resolution. A resolution is basically a commitment that people usually make mostly to themselves (or to others as well sometimes) towards the coming year. A commitment can be related to a habit or a lifestyle change or it could be related to the family like you make a resolution to spend more time with your family. But, the question arises, do we really follow the resolutions that we create for our own benefit. Recent research of resolution conducted on several participants has shown that nearly 52% believed that they do not really need to create resolutions. Ands, that’s a quite high percentage. I also do not really believe creating any resolutions for the entire year; instead, I believe in creating the resolutions for each day. Take each day as if it was a new year. This will rejuvenate you and bring fresh energy within yourselves. Some people do have a habit of creating resolutions because it gives them a direction to lead the coming year. Some of the most common ones of the resolutions are losing weight, paying your debts, having a healthy diet plan, investing a good amount of money for the future, and spending enough amount of time with your loved ones. If you really want to make resolutions, then it is always advisable to make those which you can follow easily, i.e. always make “realistic” resolutions for the coming year, and don’t “expect” too much from yourself.

So, have you made a resolution for the year 2009?